Keys and Beatz Close on Kravitz Penthouse

Back in late January and early February of 2010 it was widely rumored and much reported in all the celebrity real estate gossip columns that preggers Grammy winning singer/songwriter Alicia Keys and her babydaddy/fiancée, the ridiculously named music producer Swizz Beatz, were in the process of purchasing the downtown New York City penthouse apartment that musician Lenny Kravitz had been trying to unload since the dawn of time. And buy Mister Kravitz real estate albatross they did.

The StreetEasy folks show the 5,818 square foot doo-plex digs were last listed at $14,995,000 and the peeps at Property Shark show that in late February of 2010 preggers Miss Keys and Mister Beatz negotiated a substantial price reduction paying $12,750,000 for their new downtown digs located in the same boo-teek condo building in SoHo where Courtney Love once lived and irritated at least one of her neighbors with her I'm a rock star so I can act like a damn fool antics.

If the children recall, Mister Kravitz first listed the 5 bedroom, 7 pooper, and multi-terraced spread way back in 2002 and over the years the asking price soared to as high as $19,500,000 and dipped to as low as $12,000,000. Mister Kravitz's glammy crib was taken off and put back on the market more times than Your Mama cares to count, underwent at least one million dollar renovation courtesy of Mister Kravitz's eponymous design firm, and was reportedly leased out to a couple of high profile individuals including Academy Award winning Aussie actress Nicole Kidman and Oscar winning actor Denzel Washington.

In the early naughts when the Crosby Street building was being converted to condos, it was both touted and mocked in the press as a kind of celebrity dormitory with dee-luxe amenities such as an aromatherapy system in the lobby 24-hour concierge, a "smart" recycling system that automatically separates paper from plastic, and private wine cellars in the basement. Nowadays instead of famous folks it's filled with a bunch of Wall Street and big bizness types such as credit default swap swami Greg Lippmann, former Bear Stearns banker Mark Van Lith, private equity pasha Nathan Kornfeld, new media mogul Dan Pelson, and porcine homosexual bon vivant and restaurateur Laurence Isaacson whose published, Benjamin Noriega-Ortiz designed basement maisonette has been on and off the market for more then 4 years and is currently listed at $7,000,000. (Don't be fooled by previous reports that call his unit a penthouse, it's located on the ground floor and basement levels no matter how many times large livin' Mister Isaacson calls it a penthouse.)

In mid-June 2010, having closed and perhaps moved into her new SoHo spread, it was revealed that Soon to Be Missus Beatz listed her long time mansion in the leafy and upscale Long Island enclave of Syosset, NY with an asking price of $3,850,000. Although some reports show Soon to Be Missus Beatz paid $3,950,000 for her 15-room residence situated on 2.02 gated acres, property records pYour Mama accessed show she bought the 9,000+ square foot suburban sprawler in December of 2005 for $2,933,380.

Listing information shows Soon to Be Missus Beatz's two-story, vaguely chateau-esque style manse encompasses more than 9,000 square feet and includes bedrooms and 6.5 poopers, an old-school gallery with black and white checked marble floors, a curving staircase, 3 fireplaces, a pine paneled family room with built in wet bar, eat in kitchen, office, full basement, attic, 2 large motor courts, and a 3 car garage. The fully landscaped grounds are ringed with mature evergreens and include large lawns, a vast 2,000 square foot terrace off the back of the house, and a 50-foot long swimming pool, spa, and adjacent pool house.

Lady Gaga Gets Down in the 90077

Listen chickens, Your Mama was away on our vacay a day or two longer than planned because, perhaps not surprisingly, we got stranded in the wilds of northern Arizona after our recently rehabbed friend Fiona Trambeau fell off the wagon and ran off with some socks with sandals wearing German tourist in a rented RV. She also, much to our horror and dismay, took off with the keys to her Lezbaru tucked deep into her tube top. Eventually ol' Fiona came back, worse for the wear and reeking of Pilsner, dripping in chunky turqwahze jewelery and shouting out things like, "Auf dem wasser su zingen!" After giving Fiona a verbal dressing down that would wither even the most bitter drag queen and an arduous 11 hour trek across 4 states, 2 time zones and temperatures reaching upwards of 110 degrees, Your Mama has finally returned home to our hideway in the Hollywood Hills.

Anyhoo, vacation dramatics aside, Your Mama is back in the saddle at the celebrity real estate rodeo and ready to go. Let's get our post vacation feet wet with some recent real estate doings of a gal named Stefani Germanotta, better known to the young people as the provocative pop star Lady Gaga. Besides taking up the button pushing mantle of the middle aged music icon Madonna–a story line the Kabbalah Kween might take umbrage with–Miss Gaga recently made became the darling of the tabs and gossip glossies after the beer swilling high priestess of wannabe shocking brazenly flipped off photographers at a Mets game at Shea Stadium and then showed up a couple weeks later at a Yankees game in little more than a bra and panties where she proceeded to get sauced, sweet talk her way into the team's clubhouse, and cause a ruckus with some word slurring and (alleged) breast fondling.

As tantalizing as Miss Gaga's wacky ways may be, it's her real estate bidness that concerns Your Mama. While away on vacation, not so patiently awaiting the return of our trampy pal Fiona Trambeau, Your Mama received an unexpected covert communique from one of our better connected informants–let's call her Rhonda Ratsemout–who whispered in our big ear that New York City based Lady Gaga maintains a super swank nest in Los Angeles.

That's right bunnies, Lady Gaga is going Hollywood, or rather she's going Bel Air. According to Rhonda, last October Miss Gaga leased a 6 bedroom and 8 pooper residence in the hills above Bel Air at around $25,000 per month.
Property records and previous reports reveal Lady Gaga's leased residence is owned by Canadian real estate developer Lorne Leibel whose car fanatic son Cody is the bidness partner of restaurateur, nightclub owner and hotelier Sam Nazarian who owns celeb friendly Hollywood hot spots such as Hyde Lounge, Katsuya, The Abbey and the SLS Hotel. Property records reveal Mister Leibel paid a hefty $3,150,000 for the property in January of 2004 and last had the property on the open market in 2009 for $4,750,000.

According to listing information the high-walled and gated residence sits at the tail end of a quiet cul-de-sac and measures 6,143 square feet. Interior amenities include an impress the guest style double height entry with marble floors and a curving staircase that would make Norma Desmond swoon with melodrama, a two-story living room wrapped in French doors and warmed by a fireplace with an intricately carved stone mantel piece and a family room with another fireplace and another intricately carved stone mantel piece and brown and cream colored vertical striped wall treatment. There is also an office/library with built-in shelving and French doors that open to the pool terrace and a gigantic gore-may kitchen with separate breakfast area and an adjacent outdoor eating area.

The hillside property has a resort-style swimming pool and spa that practically hangs over the canyon with unobstructed and panoramic views of the Los Angeles. With a pair of binoculars, Miss Gaga can probably look across the canyon and up at Heidi Klum's former house that Nick Lachey currently owns has listed with an asking price of $6,800,000 although we don't imagine Miss Gaga has much use for someone as musically vanilla as Mister Lachey who, Your Mama thinks, beehawtcha could chew up in about 12 seconds flat.

Your Mama freely admits that we don't know where Miss Gaga currently resides in New York City although we do know that she used to live not so far from the Lower East Side tenement where Your Mama lived for about 1,000 years. However, since first hearing from Rhonda Ratsemout, we've heard that Miss Gaga actually tried to by Mister Leibel's other house in the Hidden Valley enclave of Beverly Hills (Post Office) that was last listed at $16,500,000. In the end she decided to lease the less expensive house in Bel Air, all of which makes Your Mama wonder if Miss Gaga is planning on relocating to Los Angeles sometime in the near future. Only time will tell chickadoodles, only time will tell.

NOTE: This posting has been amended for its original form. Your Mama got our wires crossed as to the exact house Miss Gaga leased. We've got out ducks in a row now. We apologize for the gross error.